Advice for Single Parents

Take Care of You

While most parents, and in particular, single parents, have a tendency to sacrifice and put their children first in every situation possible, the truth is, you need to take time to put yourself first as well. Take time daily and weekly to renew yourself -- whether it's taking a bubble bath at the end of a stressful day, reading a good book, or having an uninterrupted cup of coffee. Praying, meditating, or other quiet time will strengthen you for all the challenges of single parenthood.

While it's often difficult for single parents to get that well-deserved break, it is possible. Try putting your son or daughter to bed 15 minutes earlier at night or waking up 15 minutes earlier in the morning to get some time for you. Involve your child in daily tasks and chores so you don't have those on your mind to do at the end of the day or first thing in the morning.

Taking care of yourself is not only not selfish, it's very selfless. By the act of taking time to refresh and renew yourself, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, you will feel better and be a better parent. Visit Flylady.net for some great resources on loving yourself and easing chaos in your life.

Get Involved

While the past hurt of a marital or relationship breakup causes many single parents to isolate themselves, this is actually one of the worst things you can do. Advice for single parents from mental health professionals suggests that isolation can be debilitating and can foster depression.

Instead, get out in the community and get involved with others. Community and church groups are widely available for single parents, offering everything from parenting classes and support groups to events and outings. Plan or join friends for movies, sports, or outing outings. Volunteer at a local food kitchen, nursing home, or other community institution.

Dealing with the Other Parent

Being a single parent is stressful enough in itself, but add in a volatile relationship with the other parent, and it's even worse. Family counselors offer advice for single parents to try to keep the anger towards the other parent from showing to the child. Don't let it keep you from maintaining a civil attitude in regards to your child's issues and schedules. Remember, you couldn't change the other person when you were in a marriage or relationship, so odds are s/he isn't going to change now.

As long as your child isn't in a situation that could be inappropriate or dangerous ( in cases of drug addiction or any type of abuse, for example), you'll do best by focusing on how you can best deal with situation rather than fume about the how the other person handles them.

When the Other Parent Isn't Around

Those single parents whose children's other parent isn't around due to abandonment or death have an especially difficult burden. Painful emotions and little or no reprieve from the daily tasks of child caretaking can certainly take its toll. Family and/or personal counseling is often beneficial. Enlist the help of friends and family members, and try to take things a step at a time to avoid getting overwhelmed.

The National Child Support Enforcement Agency can help you get the financial benefits your child deserves, even if the other parent refuses to be emotionally or physically there for your child. There are also other resources for single-parent families to get the necessities and financial stability and necessities of life they need, including government programs such as:

• Medicaid
• Head Start
• WIC Program
• Income Supplements
• Economic Success Programs
• Housing Assistance Programs

More Resources

Today's society offers more resources and help for single parents than ever before. The following are organizations which offer help and advice for single parents:

• Parents Without Partners
• Lone Parent Support
• Family First
• Single Parents Online Support
• SingleParent.org

Your county or state may also have local single parent organizations. Check your local human resources or community center to find more resources near you.

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