Attachment Parenting

From LoveToKnow Baby

According to Attachment Parenting International attachment parenting seeks to promote good parenting practices that create strong, nurturing bonds between parents and children. While many people may associate attachment parenting with adoptive families, the goal of many parenting organizations is to encourage all parents to become nurturers toward their children, both physically and emotionally. Have a comment about this article? We'd love to hear from you!

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History of Attachment Parenting

Although the phrase attachment parenting wasn't typically used until Dr. Jim Sears began encouraging the practice among parents, attachment parenting isn't new. Prominent psychologists Sigmund Freud and Mary Ainsworth conducted research on this theory, and they both proposed that an infant's need to be close to a caregiver had a direct impact on his or her [[Baby Development Stage for the First Six Months|development]. Dr. Spears uses this theory as a form of parental instruction, teaching parents to become connected to their babies as early as possible.

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Ways to Attach

How can parents practice attachment parenting? There are actually several ways to do so, and many people naturally parent this way. However, some parents may need a little guidance in forging that strong bond between themselves and their children.

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At Birth

Breastfeeding proponents encourage mothers to breastfeed their babies as soon after delivery as possible. The process of bonding begins as soon as mom begins breastfeeding her baby. Dads are encouraged to find ways to bond with their infants as well. This may include bathing your baby, giving her a bottle, rocking her, singing to her, and any other number of ways. The point is to spend as much time as possible taking care of your baby and creating an emotional and physical connection.

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Closeness

While you'll soon discover that your newborn will take up a great deal of your time, it's important to understand that you baby needs the closeness of her mother and father. When colicky babies appear inconsolable, sometimes the only way to comfort them is to carry them close to your body. In the same respect, infants are much less fussy and much more content if they are held frequently and for prolonged periods of time. The concept that a newborn can be spoiled has consistently been dispelled. Your infant needs to feel you near her. This doesn't mean that you are chained to the rocking chair or couch, however. There are lots of great baby items to make your life easier, such as baby slings and carriers. You can take a walk, do some housework, etc. with baby next to you, contented and happy.

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Meeting Needs

Meeting your baby's needs is the first step toward attachment parenting. Your baby cries for a reason, and when you respond to his cries, you are building a deep sense of love and trust. You are the person who can make things better for your little one. You are the one on whom your baby depends. Once he's learned that you will address and meet his needs, he'll become more satisfied and secure. As you form an attachment with your child, you are molding his personality and his sense of self.

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Inhibitors

Some inhibitors associated with attachment parenting include medical reasons and adoptions. In some cases, medical emergencies may prohibit you from forming that initial bond with your baby. He may have been whisked off to the neonatal intensive care unit, and you weren't able to breastfeed or hold him. Don't panic. It's never too late to start, and you can more than make up for the time you've lost by bonding and forming a closeness with your child as soon as possible. Just as with any other relationship, the relationship you'll forge with your baby will grow and mature through time.

In some cases, especially those of older children, attachment parenting is an absolute necessity for adoptive parents and children. Older children and children who have come from an abusive or emotionally lacking home may have a difficult time forming a bond with their adoptive parents. Patience is the key to success in these situations. In some instances, both the parents and the children will benefit from professional help. Persistence over time can win over even the most reticent and reluctant child, however, so don't give up.

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Available Help

Help is available. Your pediatrician may be able to give you the number of local support groups and professionals who specialize in attachment parenting. Check out the following Websites for additional information and assistance:

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