Dating and Single Parent
From LoveToKnow Baby
As a single parent, you are in charge of making all the decisions, taking care of your child, and providing for you both. When you add dating into the mix, single parenting can become downright challenging. In fact, some people simply choose not to date until their children are grown. While of course the choice should be each individual's, if you do want to date, there are probably some things you need to know. After all, you can't just consider your feelings, you also have to consider your child's feelings, too!
Meeting Other Singles
One of the most common complaints that single parents seem to have is that it is difficult to meet other singles! The world has changed since your were a teen, and meeting new people can be quite a challenge. After all, your days are probably spent at work and, later, with your child. You really don't have a lot of free time, and when you do, your trying to catch up on laundry or getting in some much needed "me time" by reading or doing another favorite hobby...for a few minutes at least! When would you have time to date, and where are you going to meet anyone?
First, let me say that you should always use caution when meeting new people. It's probably best if you meet other people through a mutual friend or interest, if possible. Maybe some of your co-workers know someone nice to fix you up with. Ok, this doesn't work all that often, but it can happen! Blind dates are awkward at best, but real relationships have come out of them. Really!
If you can't meet anyone through a work-related situation, then what about at church? Does your church sponsor any singles activities? Even if you know everyone in your church (and you aren't interested in any of them), there may be larger singles events that your church group could attend. This is a great way to meet other singles in your area!
You also might want to try out a new hobby. Be sure you ask for suggestions from other singles that you know, and then, don't be afraid to check a few activities out. Even if you don't meet Mr. Right, you may develop a new hobby that you love!
You thought I'd leave out the Internet, right? After all you see all of these online dating services showing happy faces of couples deeply in love. Can that really happen? Sure! But keep in mind, that once you hit the Internet, you are opening yourself wide to all sorts of people. Some online meetings may make you a few new friends, but others may leave a lot to be desired! If you do want to venture out on the technology highway and surf the Web for the love of your life, be sure you stick to the more well-known online dating services, such as:
- eHarmony
- Match.com
- Friend Finder
- Yahoo Personals
- Perfect Match
- ImYours Free UK Dating
- Artist Dates - Specialist dating services for artist UK
- Free Dating Services
Dating and Your Child
A parent needs to understand that just because she likes someone doesn't necessarily mean her child will. Of course a lot of factors can enter in to how easily a child accepts a new person in mom's or dad's life. The age of the child will play a big factor. If your child is just a baby, he may still compete for your attention, but he won't understand enough to feel very threatened by your new friend. However, if you are the parent of an older child or teen, you may have your hands full! As you enter the dating scene, keep the following points in mind.
- Don't bring your dates to meet your child until you have settled into an at least semi-serious relationship with someone.
- Try to plan the majority of your dates for times when your child is with your ex-spouse, visiting grandparents, or gone to a friend's house.
- When you do decide that its time to introduce your child to your boyfriend or girlfriend, take it slow. Talk to your child in a matter-of-fact way about the new person before he meets him.
- Plan on the first meeting to be a short one.
- Don't push your child into being happy about the new man in your life. You can demand respect, but you shouldn't demand her to be happy just because you are!
- Don't take time away from your child too often to spend time with this new person. Plan on times where you can all be together.
- Reassure your child that this person will not take the place of her other parent and that she is still number one in your life.
Signs of Trouble
Now, a word of caution. While you may simply adore the new man in your life, there may be some signs along the way that your new guy adores you, but not your child. It is important that he and anyone else in your life realize that you are part of a package deal. If he is going to love you, he has to love your child. You must put your child first...always! And, your new significant other must accept this! If he doesn't, there could be lots of problems up ahead!
Don't leave your child alone with this new guy until you have known him for a long time! You can never be too careful. If you do suspect some type of abuse has occurred, you'll need to contact your local police department. Some good websites to visit concerning child abuse signs are Help Guide and the National Clearinghouse for Child Abuse and Neglect.
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