Single Parent Family

From LoveToKnow Baby

Whether you are divorced, widowed, or never married, running a single parent family can be rewarding and fun, yet difficult and stressful. After all, everything really depends upon you! Have a comment or story you’d like to share with our readers concerning single parenting? We’d love to know!

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Single Parent Stigmas

You’ve just become widowed, divorced, or separated from your significant other. Do you feel as if people look at you differently? Are all your actions now seemingly under a microscope? Don’t worry. You definitely aren’t alone in those feelings. Single parenting, whether you’ve just become a single parent or you’ve been one for years, is hard. You may encounter the following stigmas:

Your friends and family members who aren’t single may have trouble understanding.
To some, single means available, even if you aren’t ready to start dating.
Being the head of a single parent family makes you vulnerable to strangers and even people that you know.
Friends and family may ask you personal questions, suddenly believing that your life is actually their business!
People may not take you as seriously.

Now, while all of these points can be distressing, take heart. You can take care of most of these stigmas head on!

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Handling Others’ Perceptions

Many people mistakenly believe that they have the right to give advice and instruction to single parents. Of course, the parents may not appreciate this at all, which is easy to understand. When you encounter those who want to “take you under their wing” regardless of your wishes, consider the following:

Present a strong front. Even if you are feeling less than confident on the inside, make a concerted effort to appear capable and responsible.
Don’t be afraid to say “thanks, but no thanks” to those busy bodies who just can’t resist butting in to your business.
Show appreciation, but also express your wish to handle things on your own.
Don’t let anyone pressure you into dating or anything else before you are ready--even if the person they want to hook you up with is the “perfect match”.

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Children’s Issues

The children of a single parent family may feel at times like they are on the outside looking in. After all, their friends may have come from two-parent homes. They don’t have to juggle time between two different households, and they aren’t stuck in the middle of a power struggle between two parents.

Recognize that no matter how quiet, happy, and satisfied your children might appear to be, there are probably issues, doubts, and fears that they are constantly battling. Unfortunately, these scars will last past their childhood into the adult years. How can you help them face, deal with, and even conquer these issues?

Listen! Listen! Listen! Remember, your children may be dealing with a whole different set of issues than you are, but that doesn’t mean that those issues or problems are any less important.
Be a parent, not a friend. While it’s great that you have an open and loving relationship with your child, remember that you are the parent. If you need a confidante, talk to a friend or adult family member.
Be a leader. You are the head of your family, so it is up to you to lead. This may seem scary at times, but you are the adult.
Watch the dating scene. While it might seem as if you are way past being ready to find that new Mr. or Mrs. Right, keep in mind that your child may have other ideas. Start out slowly, and don’t introduce your child to every person you go out with. Instead, wait to see if it’s really turning into something special, then take it slowly some more.
Don’t badmouth the other parent. Wow! This one can be really difficult to stick to, but consider this—your child is a combination of the two of you. When you tear down the other parent, you are in essence saying that something is wrong with your child as well.

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