Merely the concept of child abuse causes shivers to run down every parent's spine. No greater nightmare exists than to imagine a child abuse situation in regards to our own children. Unfortunately in today's complicated world, the abuse of children occurs more often than anyone would prefer and is not always obvious to parents. Therefore as protectors of our children, it is necessary to become familiar with recognizing child abuse signs.
Recognizing Child Abuse Signs in Children
Child abuse has many signs. Abuse can be mental, emotional, physical, or sexual. Neglect is also a form of child abuse that may be more difficult to recognize. The signs and signals may vary by age, as well as by child. In general, however, if a child exhibits some of the behaviors listed below, they may be living in an abusive situation.
General Signs of Abuse
The following may indicate all types of abuse and neglect.
- Difficulty sleeping or changes in sleep patterns
- Uncharacteristic aggressive or passive behavior
- Personality changes
- Sudden bedwetting
- Crying or over sensitivity
Signs of physical abuse may be physical, behavioral, and/or emotional. These include:
- Exhibits behavioral changes including aggression, over compliance, withdrawal, or being openly oppositional
- Demonstrates fear of adults or older children
- Shows sudden changes in school performance
- Has unexplained or poorly explained injuries such as burns, scratches, bite marks, or bruises
- Has noticeable absences for school
- Winces when adults approach
- Becomes visibly upset when it's time to go to caregiver
- Flinches at sudden movements
- Suddenly begins to engage in age inappropriate behavior (either acting as a caretaker or regressing)
- Wears clothing that doesn't make sense with the weather (for example, a turtleneck with long sleeves on a summer day)
Sexually abused children may display many of the above signs. They may also exhibit the following:
- Hypersexualized behaviors
- Age-inappropriate knowledge of sex
- Seductive behavior
- Has trouble walking or sitting
- Won't change clothes in front of other people
- Refuses to participate in physical activity
Emotional and mental abuse is often the most difficult to recognize and define because it does not leave marks. Some signs a child is being emotionally abused include:
- Anxious and fearful
- Afraid of doing something wrong
- Strives to please adults excessively
- Behavioral extremes such as passivity or aggressiveness
- Appears to lack attachment to parents or caregivers
- Behaves in a manner uncharacteristic with age
While many don't consider neglect a form of abuse, it can be very damaging to children. Signs of child neglect include:
- Child is constantly dirty or unwashed
- Medical problems go untreated/unreported
- Child wears dirty clothes, those that don't fit, or clothes inappropriate to the season
- Child frequently misses school and other activities
- Child is left alone to his or her own devices for extended periods of time
Recognizing Signs of Child Abuse in Infants
Infants communicate differently than children, so the signs of abuse may be different.
- Physical injuries (bruises, bites, scratches, burns, and bite marks)
- Spiral fractures
- Other fractures or dislocations in a child with limited mobility
- Signs and symptoms of shaken baby syndrome, including lethargy, convulsions, loss of consciousness, pale or bluish skin, and lack of appetite
- Bulging fontanelle
- High-pitched crying
- Temperament changes
- Excessive clinginess
Recognizing Child Abuse Signs in Caregivers
Adults who abuse children also display signs. Abusive adults may be parents, teachers, coaches, or other caregivers.
Parents who abuse may display some of the following behaviors:
- Abuses drugs or alcohol
- Commits or is a victim of domestic violence
- Blames child for difficulties at home or school
- Appears angry or irritable
- Asks for harsh punishments when child misbehaves at school or activities
- Doesn't allow others into the home
- Sets impossibly high standards for the child
- Loses temper easily
Caregivers, Teachers, and Coaches
Parents who are concerned about abuse by their child's caregivers should watch for the following behaviors.
- Appears irritable or irrational
- Discourages unannounced visits
- Refuses to let you see your child immediately when you come to pick him or her up early
- Rarely answers the phone
- Appears upset with the children
- Has a disorganized home, classroom, or center
- Displays a decline in the quality of care your child receives
- Isolates your child
- Discourages parent observation/participation
How to Rate a Potential Child Abuse Situation
If you suspect a child is abused or neglected:
- Try to talk to other adults who spend time with the child.
- Talk in general terms with the child.
- Seek assistance from a teacher or principal.
- If you strongly suspect abuse, report the situation to Child Protective Services.
If you suspect your own child is being abused in a caregiver situation:
- Talk with other parents or neighbors of the caregiver.
- Address the caregiver directly, and evaluate her reaction.
- Check your own feelings, do you worry about your child while at work?
- Trust your intuition and do not simply push strong feelings aside as normal parental worry. Concern that your child might be emotional when separated from you is normal; worrying constantly for his safety is not.
- Drop in unexpectedly and demand to see your child. What state is the environment and children in? Remove your child immediately from a childcare situation that appears to be uncomfortable or unsafe. Make no delay and deal with finding a new childcare plan later after you are completely sure your child is unharmed.
Trust Your Instincts
If you truly suspect abuse, notify child protection services and the local police. Take your child to a doctor for a complete physical and make an appointment with a counselor. Communicate with your child, either through love and hugs for an infant or talking with an older toddler or child. Believe what they tell you, and listen with your heart.